Right now, I’m in the process of transitioning from my current university to my new one. It’s an exciting time, but one filled with the whole spectrum of emotions. I’m exciting to be moving to a great new place, starting a new job, and meeting new people. But, at the same time, I’m deeply saddened by the loss of the tight, supportive community I found at Purdue. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt such strong, but opposite emotions at the exact same time. During my time at Purdue, I’ve found great friends, worked with great professors, and was fortunate enough to work with a chair who was a great teacher, mentor, and friend. Getting a PhD is hard and emotional, and we need all the help we can get, so I’m also extremely grateful to have fallen in with the smart, supportive women at NYMG.
Years ago, when I first started at NYMG, I was a little scared. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, and, honestly, I suspected I was carrying around a lot of messed up beliefs from being raised in a Red state (despite coming from a Blue family). I was right, but it was ok because of the supportive community. I have learned so much by being part of the NYMG team. I’ve learned when to speak and when to sit down. I’ve learned to try to recognize my privilege and to really listen when others are describing their experiences. Sometimes I still need to be told to sit down. I am always learning. We are all always learning. I’ve learned how valuable it is to be in a community where people are always actively learning.
The support I’ve found in this community goes far beyond academic or social justice debates. The women at NYMG have often served as a port in the storm. In a world that often seems to designed to make sure none of us feel “good enough,” these women try to get me to recognize the value I bring. I hope I do the same for them. If not, I’ll just keep trying. They have also been a source of much joy. They have made me laugh until I can’t breathe. And, laughter can be so important. We don’t always agree on the best games, and they definitely don’t always agree with my beverage of choice, but they have provided me with safety and sanity in a sometimes chaotic life. So often we talk about how uncomfortable the gaming community can be for women and minorities, but here I want to recognize how awesome parts of that community can be.
This weekend, I participated in the commencement ceremony, and my parents and oldest and best friend came to watch me walk across the stage. I haven’t been able to spend as much time with them as I would have liked over the past few years because of time, money, and distance, but when we do get together, it never feels like much time has passed at all. I know in time, I will feel the same about the friends I’m “losing” now. I know it’s not “goodbye,” it’s “see you later.” But, in this transition, I’m even more grateful to be part of the NYMG community because I don’t have to transition away from them. They will come with me via our online connection. When first joined NYMG, I was working with fellow Purdue folks, but over time, the group has grown, and I have met many wonderful women from all over the country who have worked at other institutions and in industry. Brilliant women have come and gone from NYMG, but I’ve learned from all of them. Thank you to the smart, thoughtful women of NYMG for your support and for the laughter in the past, the present and going forward.
