Recently, LEGO released the Disney Castle, and I was both excited and conflicted when I saw the set. The LEGO Disney Castle had been rumored for a while, but I didn’t pay much attention to the rumors. In my mind, I imagined the set would be more like one of their existing castle sets, like Cinderella’s Romantic Castle, for example. The Cinderella’s Romantic Castle set is fine, but it’s not really something I would rush out and buy because it doesn’t include a lot of pieces, and it’s not a very complex build.
But, man when they released the pictures of the Disney Castle, I knew I had to have it. I was also very conflicted because I’ve come to realize the whole “prince will save the princess” and “happily ever after” really caused a lot of internal conflict in the younger me. While I was waiting for the castle to be released, I remember talking with my mom about some of my conflict with the set. At the time, I remember thinking, “well, I can just pretend it’s just a castle.” Of course, as it turns out, I can’t pretend it’s just a castle, because it’s very recognizable as the castle at Disney World.
Building it was fun. It was probably one of the most fun builds I’ve ever done. But, I felt conflicted the entire time I was building it. And, I still feel conflicted when I see it on display. On one hand, I feel so much nostalgia. I went to Disney World as a child, and wow was I amazed at the castle back then. On the other hand, the messages those movies sent really gave me strange ideas about dating. And, I don’t just mean that I was waiting for my prince to save me. I don’t think I ever really thought that. But, that happy ending. The idea of the happy ending is what I think was the most problematic for me. Looking back, the idea of the happy ending made it difficult for me to break up with people and difficult to understand that it was ok and even expected that some relationships just weren’t going to last. Younger me felt like such a failure when that happened. Wasn’t this person supposed to be my soul mate? What was wrong with me if I couldn’t make it work? Add to that the constant expectation that I needed to get married and have kids. I was unable as a young adult to push back against that and say, “Maybe that’s just not me.” Conflict like this is going to work itself out somehow, and I probably didn’t handle it that well. In hindsight, it’s pretty clear to me that when a relationship would get too serious, I would unconsciously start sabotaging it. I want be clear, here, that I’m not blaming my parents for any of this. They are both very feminist and progressive. But, society just pushes and pushes these expectations and it’s exhausting.
I’m older now, and I’m constantly surprised and amazed at how much stronger the younger generation of women seems to me. My perceptions come mostly from my sister and my students, so not totally representative. But, they push back and they don’t seem to give dating the same importance I did way back then. I don’t mean to say the younger generation doesn’t have problems. They still do. But, I wish I had felt as comfortable with pushing back against societies expectations as my sister is today.
