For years women in business have been battling what is called the “Boy’s Club;” an ideal that places men above women in the hierarchy of who is more able to conduct business in the business world (an ideal that is dialogued pretty heavily in the television series Mad Men). There are books upon books, conferences, websites, and basically every other medium you can think of written/talked about on this subject and it is still an issue women in the business world experience, as evidenced by the lack of women CEO’s in the corporate world and the lack of respect for women in technology.
In the gaming world women are also subjected to the Boy’s Club mentality on a regular basis, though it takes on a different form, and is one of the biggest things that need to change in order for women to become a fully integrated part of the video game industry. That being said, the removal of the Boy’s Club culture is not what I aim to talk about. In order to set this up properly I have to tell a short story, so bear with me for a second.
Similar to Alex Layne, my internet has been extremely spotty lately leading to nights at home with very few multiplayer games and very little interaction with the internet. Luckily for me, there was a “Cake Boss” marathon on (I love cake) and as per usual Buddy was making cakes for interesting people. At one point two girls came in to the shop to buy a cake to celebrate their dodge ball team winning the title tournament in a league where they were the only all-female team. Congrats, right? What struck me though was that during some friendly banter Buddy bet that the workers in his shop (only the men of course) would be able to beat this champion dodge ball team of women. In response the girls and Buddy talk some trash to each other and then proceed to schedule the event and the stakes.
Okay, okay… yes I realize this is more than likely just show for the cameras, something for them to record aside from cake baking but during the asides, the commentary the show cuts to in order to kill time and give context, the girls exhibited qualities of what I would call trying to belong to the “Boy’s Club.” They talked trash, they acted tough, and they stood their ground; they acted stereo-typically masculine. Here’s where I get to my point, women who involve themselves in male dominated worlds feel that they have to prove themselves a part of the “Boy’s Club,” but in turn are demeaning what it means to be female. If we can’t embrace our femininity in order to be successful (whether in the video game industry, as CEOs, or within the business culture in general) then we are perpetuating the idea that only a male mentality can be successful. This is a vicious cycle that a lot of women get caught up in, the desire to be accepted and to succeed sometimes overshadows our desires to be accepted as female.
This is something I used to struggle with prior to becoming a part of this site and podcast. Whenever I spent time with my guy friends I would get sucked into the club mentality, even spending time bashing other “girly-girl” females just so I could feel like a part of the team. And it’s pretty obvious that this is a bad habit to have, but I think a lot of women fall prey to the belief that if they can just act like a part of the club, they’ll be able to actually become a member of it. Well, sorry ladies but the “Boy’s Club” is just that, meant for the boys.
But why do women need to be a part of this club at all? Do women need to conform to a male ideal in order to be successful? While the evidence would suggest yes (multiple articles written about how to get ahead by becoming a part of the boys club and/or being more masculine: here and here, and even an article about women who were forced to read a book about seducing men to get ahead.), I would like to argue that women can be successful without the stigma of having to become more masculine in order to achieve their success. Just because we are a different gender does not mean that we cannot fit in in these social and business environments, we just fit in differently. I know, I know not fitting in and/or standing out of the crowd is scary, but there is absolutely no reason why you should feel the need to discount the things you enjoy (such as stereotypical female things: shoes, makeup, the color pink, etc.) in order to succeed in a career/field/life style you enjoy. Sarah recently wrote about the strength in “girly-ness” and how it can be empowering as a female to allow yourself to openly enjoy typically female things. If we are forcing ourselves to hold back on the feminine items and push forward the more masculine then we are not making progress in the treatment of women in the video game industry/tech industry/business world, we are instead diluting our feminism and thus creating a cyclical problem where women do not come out on top.
