While the rest of us were enjoying TableTop Day this weekend in the privacy of our own homes (or in public if we so chose), Anita Sarkeesian was at a Columbus, OH game parlor having her photograph taken without her permission and posted (and RT’ed) on Twitter. This is problematic on a number of different levels. First, Sarkeesian has written about her desire for privacy in her personal life and requesting that people who recognize her in public, at the very least, not mention where they saw her so that she can continue to have some sort of normalcy in her life. Second, while the photographer may have thought that taking the photo was his right it may actually be illegal in the state of Ohio (where it is illegal to profit from someone’s likeness without their permission) because he is a podcaster and he and his partner tweeted it out as representatives of the podcast which also has an active Patreon campaign going. Following along here? And finally, there is definitely an issue of agency here. While GGers in this situation are claiming that they have a right to take photos in public places and likening themselves to paparazzi (another poor rhetorical choice IMHO), they are robbing Sarkeesian of her agency. She had her right to consent taken from her. Her privacy was infringed upon, even when she has made it known before that she does not want her location disclosed on the Internet.
This was a news story that happened several days ago and that I never actually got the opportunity to write about while I was out playing with in the park with my kiddo and otherwise enjoying the first real signs of spring and then it all came flooding back to me in a very personal way yesterday. I got an email from Pea’s art teacher saying that one of her art pieces had been selected to hang in a gallery space in an office building downtown (not to brag but my kid is one hell of an artist to be so young). I was surprised and proud and couldn’t wait to take the young artist down to see her work on display. When we got to the display she stopped, stared agape, and (wait for it…) had a total meltdown. She demanded that it be taken down immediately. I was flabbergasted. I couldn’t figure out why. Did she just want to take it home? Did she not like the piece? What the hell was it?
After I got her calmed down (away from the space and the stimulus) she explained, “She didn’t ask my permission to hang my painting!” It hit me like a FUCKING GUT PUNCH! She had been robbed of her agency. Regardless of whether or not it was an honor to have her work displayed or that her teacher thought highly enough of her work to choose it, she had been robbed of the opportunity to decide for herself if her work should be displayed. And not only that but she recognized it as such and had had an appropriate reaction. She was pissed and she had every right to be. After a calming meal and some time playing Pokemon, she decided what our course of action should be. We would write a letter to her art teacher describing how she felt and letting her know that in the future it might be best to ask permission of the artist to display their work outside of the school and then she would take a day or so to decide if she would like for me to go in and have her painting removed from the display.
Wow, all of this at 6 years old. I’m almost 40 years her senior and I missed it. This is why we must stop and learn from one another, respect one another’s wishes, and never, ever belittle another person’s feelings (especially our children) about their bodies or their artwork. This is where they will learn about their agency and that they have the right to say “No!”.
N.B. I share this story with her permission, but not the painting.
